Man and Woman

KittyJ

Men & Women : The Difference
MAGAZINES: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.
Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because
the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy
and hairy and shouldn't be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on
at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from
women.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women
aren't looking, men kick cats.
OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances
and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and
dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
JEWELRY: Women look nice when they wear jewelry. A man can get
away with wearing one ring and that's it. Any more than that and he will
look like a lounge singer named Ramone.
RESTROOMS: Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women
use restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will never speak a word
to each other. Women who've never met will leave a restroom giggling together
like old friends. And never in the history of the world has a man excused
himself from a restaurant table by saying, 'Hey, Tom, I was just about to
take a leak. Do you want to join me?'

leo_zhu

What is Feminism?

Feminism is the one or two hours you wait up for your Female companion;

Feminism is the sweat you generate when escorting your lady friend for shopping;

Feminism is the bills your heart ache about when paying for those girlie things;

Feminism is the fancy condos and decors you'd never go near without a future bride's pressure;

Feminism is the farewell to never washed bowls and pairs of smelling socks when there wasn't a woman shouting at your back;

Feminism is the ever-lasting hard work you endure for whole life to build up your personal assets, just for the pride she feel when comparing you to other dumbs similar to you.

Feminism is the fight you never win once, and even worse, every time you're the one who takes the blame.

Feminism is the half of your life time endeavor, plus your own flesh and bone, that are ripped of from you when she kiss-not and goodbye.

Feminism is the cycle in which we'd never learnt our lessons taught by our counter sex.

Feminism is the hell we would rather regard as heaven and we muddleheaded all love whole heartily about.

　

KittyJ

[fly]The Perfect Husband. [/fly]
    There are several men in the locker room of a private club after
exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the benches rings.
A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: "Hello?"
"Honey, It's me. Are you at the club?" "Yes." "Great! I am at the mall
2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat...
It is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only
$1,500.00" "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much...
" "Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001
models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave
me a really good price ... and since we need to exchange the BMW that
we bought last year..." "What price did he quote you?" "Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! Before
we hang up, something else..." "What?" "It might look like a lot, but I was
reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this
morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!!
Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront
property..." "How much are they asking?" "Only $450,000... a magnificent price,
and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." "Well, than go ahead
and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" "OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you
later!! I love you!!!" "Bye... I do too..." The man hangs up, closes the
phone's flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all
those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"  

[em03][em03][em03][em03][em03][em03][em03]

leo_zhu

Understanding Women

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman 吻她吧，不够君子

If you don't, you are not a man 不吻吧，不象汉子

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying 夸她吧，说你欺骗

If you don't, you are good for nothing 不夸吧，说你笨蛋

If you agree to all her likes, she is abusing 顺她吧，说你气管炎

If you don't, you are not understanding 不顺吧，不善解人

If you make romance, you are an 'experienced man' 太浪漫，疑你老练

If you don't you are half a man 太规矩，魅力不足

If you visit her too often, she thinks it is boring 常看她，招她厌烦

If you don't, she accuses you of double crossing 少去点，怨你猎艳

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy 穿得好，说你花心

If you don't, you are a dull boy 邋遢些，缺个心眼

If you are jealous, she says it's bad 吃醋吧，你太狭隘

If you don't , she thinks you do not love her 大度点，说你不爱

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her 求欢吧，不够尊重

If you don't, she thinks you do not like her 安分吧，不够爱宠

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait 你晚了，她等得烦

If she is late, she says that's a girl's way 它晚了，女孩特权

If you visit another, she accuses you of being a heel 你访友，是你堕落

If she is visited by another, 'oh it's natural, we are girls' 她聚会，天性其乐

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold 少亲她，你太冷淡

If you kiss her too many, she yells that you are taking advantage 老亲她，便宜你占

If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics 过街不管，道德有缺憾

If you do, she thinks it's just one of the man's tactics 领着她走，男人耍手段

If you stare at other, she accuses you of flirting 你看别人，是挑逗风情

If she is stared by others, she says that they are just admiring 别人看她， 是仰慕佳绝

If you talk, she wants you to listen 你要说话，它让你听

If you listen, she wants you to talk 洗耳恭听，她逼你开言

Oh God! you created those creature called "WOMAN' 上帝啊！为何拆我骨头造女人？

"O LORD, tell me what to do. AMEN" 上帝啊！求你告诉我怎么办？

[此贴子已经被作者于2002-7-15 15:08:58编辑过]

KittyJ

It's hard to be a man！especially a real man！！
I'd like to show my sympathized feeling for all men. Poor men！！
I think the emotion between man and woman is too subtle to express.
Simle word can never make it clear.

leo_zhu

以下是引用KittyJ在2002-7-15 16:19:54的发言：
It's hard to be a man！especially a real man！！
I'd like to show my sympathized feeling for all men.&nbspoor men！！
  

理解万岁！！[em01][em01][em01][em01][em01]

KittyJ

不用哭成这样嘛！！噢，也许是太激动吧[em03]
理解最重要！！